Hey guys! Happy Sunday!!!! This post took me a lot of time to write/think over and I would really appreciate feedback. I don’t mean to offend anyone by this, but it needs to be said…
Revert back to the days when your lunch was packed for you, you ate when your teachers told you to, and there were no complaints (except maybe to cut the crust off your Skippy Peanut Butter and Smucker’s Jelly sandwich on white bread) The good ol’ days when you didn’t THINK about it. It was easy back then.
>>Fast forward to NOW. You are reading food blogs, you don’t go near things like “HFCS” , and you know what’s IN pretty much everything you eat. It’s great that we all know how to be healthy, but there is a fine line between eating healthily and obsession. We know too much. We KNOW so much about food and have the ability manipulate our diets accordingly. I’m not saying we all do, but it’s possible. It’s possible to revert back to whatever your worst state of food obsession was any second because that knowledge is branded in your brain.
Dana and I had a great Heart to Heart last night about exactly this. About when food knowledge and desire to be healthy can lead to a point where it is no longer healthy. Both of us have gotten better from the days when we saw High Fructose Corn Syrup (God forbid) in the dining hall’s marinara sauce and swore it off for a month (true story! haha)
But we all have not so great days because we are only human. Yesterday was one of my not-so-good days (I don’t have an ED, & never did). I’m just a knowledgeable, normal girl who had a bad day…
I think it was triggered by the Nutrition Analysis I had to do for nutrition class. I had a track meet yesterday, which included the typical: Oatmeal with almond butter in the morning, 2 nature valley bars, a Clif Bar, a Luna bar, a crapload of trail mix, pizza, ETC. Everything that had a lot of fat in it… totally normal for meet days because I don’t actually eat lunch because I was in the in field jumping from 12-5. (A girl needs her energy!!) After the meet, my teammates and I went out for ice cream at Friendly’s, another typical thanggg we do. HOWEVER, because I had known how much fat I had already eaten that day, I was so hesitant. I had ordered 1 scoop of Vienna Mocha chip and 1 scoop of Cookie Dough. I was presented with this:
Seeing that monstrosity of ice cream in front of me, I was like oh man, I did NOT order that much. BUT I was hungry. Really hungry. I had spent 5 hours of high intensity competing, consisting of 6 long jumps and 6 triple jumps, (Both of which I PRed in!), and had been running and doing drills all day long. I NEEDED FOOD. So I ate it all… clearly. And felt great afterward (I actually went back to my room and ate a little more ;)) But why was I so concerned before? It was because I KNEW How much I fat I had eaten throughout the day and seeing a bowl of ice cream 3x the size of what I had ordered (which I was already thinking about) made me think too much. Everyone else around me wasn’t thinking about it nearly as intricately as I was!
Sometimes I envy my friends that don’t know about food like I do. They don’t know what’s in everything, and their knowledge of eating healthily is knowing that chips are “bad” and fruit is “good”. But what I have come to realize is No Food is GOOD or BAD, or HEALTHY/NOT HEALTHY. If you love ice cream, it’s healthy for you to eat it! If you eat the same exact things day in and day out, no matter how ‘healthy’ they are, are they really all that HEALTHY after all?
Sometimes I wish I could revert back to the days where I didn’t know as much, because now that I have it in my head, I’m afraid that knowledge will never go away. This is why I think that sometimes, too much knowledge can be a curse.
Being apart of blog world, I get attached and truly worried about some girls exercising too much or eating too little, or both. I worry about the people that comment on foods like “UNHEALTHY” cakes and sweets and say how AMAZING THEY LOOK, but wouldn’t actually eat them. Your body is your temple, give it what it wants. You all know SO MUCH about food and it SCARES ME that people could revert back to an ED or have their healthy eating cross that fine line and turn into and ED. But I LOVE seeing girls recover correctly and love seeing them get healthier and HAPPIER. Reading This Girl’s Post yesterday made me sooo happy to know that some of you are truly on your way to an amazing recovery. It just scares me that too much knowledge can hinder that recovery. I love you all and pray that nobody is struggling with their own self-image/recovery on a daily basis.
I’m lucky because points when I feel like this do not come often at all… I am SO HAPPY with my body. I am athletic and very fit, allowing me to do what I love- track. I thank God for it each day. I know I’ve been blessed. It’s just dumb things like Diet Analysis, etc. that can sometimes get in the way and cause me to over-think. I hope I got down everything I needed/wanted to in this post, and I hope you can all relate and know where I am coming from. So girlies (&guys!)- what is your FAVORITE thing about your body and why? and How do you feel about knowledge being a curse- do you agree or disagree? (in regards to what I have written)
Thanks so much for reading this extra long post 🙂